Other Written Things
Rants...These are really little more than my not-so-humble opinions. If you want to climb into my mind and find out how I see the world, read these. If you're afraid of an overdose, take them one at a time over a course of a few days. Possible side effects include, but are not limited to, outrage, scandal, headache, dizziness, and drowsiness. If rash develops, discontinue use immediately.
The Great Food Spiel: I like food. For most, that sentence would be enough. Not for me. Warning: this sucker is long.
A Brief Discourse on Orange Soda: The name says it all for this one.
The Amazing List of Truly Stunning Literature: The definitive collection of books to read...titles, brief reviews. A lot of sci-fi, fantasy, and the like, as well as the occasional non-fiction or philosophy (which is neither fact nor fiction) book. A definite work-in-progress, which will be added to often.
The Volvo: no, not the only one, but definitely the definitive one.
Saltines: a brief marketing idea that someone in Nabisco or some such company needs to read and pay me lots of money for.
Poetry and the Like...A bunch of stuff I wrote in my own time and for school. Some, I like a lot; some, I don't so much...I'm putting some bad in with the good to prove to myself that I'm not perfect.
Floodplain: A sentence I wrote.
Ear-Lowering: This one is a short story, one that went to national judging in the Scholastic Writing Competition in early 2000.
Westminster Quietitude: Another short story...first published in the 2000 issue of Graffiti, and one of my personal favorites.
Interim: A lot of people seem to get a fuck-the-world message out of this at first glance...upon review, I hope you find something more.
The Stage: Acting is one of the most selfish, and one of the most charitable things I think a person can do. This is my attempt to capture that essence.
Malanatomy Suite: Really, this is something of a joke. It's about my crappy joints. I'm especially proud of the third movement.
Windrider's Song: Some people tell me it's trite. Some people tell me they like it. Either way, here it is.
The Loss of Innocence: The fastest way to grow up, guaranteed.
Voyeurism on the Open Road: Most people are so self-absorbed that they miss out on life...nowhere do I find this more evident than on the road.
Working the Close: A largely self-indulgent bit about my days working at a mini-golf and go-kart "family fun center" during the summer after my senior year in high school.
Churchbells in the Rain: It was raining on a Sunday, and I could hear the bells from the old Episcopalian church down the street. I'm not a religious person, but I like churchbells. This piece reflects the odd homesickness I've felt for Texas, of all places.
Monsoon: I took a shower, once. . .
Other Writings...Some other things I do, mainly nonfiction stuff; personal columns and editorials are included, as well as perhaps some school papers. A lot of these are essentially nothing more than structured rants.
You Want Fries With That?: One of my personal columns for the Connection, first published during my junior year.
Murphy the Wonder Pup: This one's about my dog. Another column, but this one was never published.
Masquerade: Once again, a personal column. This one has a little controversy around it; some people think it's incredibly arrogant, others don't. Either way, I got flak for it when it was published in my senior year, helping to ensure my place as "most likely to get the entire world to hate him by the time he's 30."
Belligerent Deliverance: Not a personal column so much as an editorial, although it was done for personal reasons. Once again, this is controversial (I do a lot of that), and if you read it, you'll probably see why.
Cool but Crude: An in-class essay written for my EN140 class at SEMO. The essay prompt was something along the lines of, "lots of people have heroes. Name one of yours, and explain why he/she is a hero, giving criteria for hero status and specific examples of this individual's fulfillment of that criteria." I hate essays like this, but this one was fun to write. TMNT rules!
Back To Contents